I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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