moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize