Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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