my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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