don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just googled if crying burns calories
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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