best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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