so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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