Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize