I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize