Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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