Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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