this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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