Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize