so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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