you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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