You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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