Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize