I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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