she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize