I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize