im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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