a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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