I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize