I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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