We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize