Plan B is the new Plan A
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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