The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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