fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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