I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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