butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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