Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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