I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize