"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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