I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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