Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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