Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize