happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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