i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize