Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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