Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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