I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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