Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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