I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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