Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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