I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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