can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize