I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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