i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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