So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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