I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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